June 2014: Rain and duck blood

So how do you spend time indoors when it’s too rainy to go out?

A) “It’s never too rainy to go out! Let’s find some puddles!”

B) “Now I can finish my stack of books and all those leftover hot chocolate packets from the winter.”

C) Puzzles, video games, and elaborate forts made of fragile furniture

D) “Zzzzzzzzzzz…”

E) “After my filing and emailing are caught up, I’ll make sure the trash is taken out, everything electronic is fully charged, and the menu is planned for 10 days out. If that’s too easy, I can clean my garage and plan future remodeling projects. Then I’ll install a new door and go dig out those pesky stumps where I want to mow.”

Ha, ha, you crazy overachiever, why don’t you take a load off and enjoy…something frivolous? No, frivolous isn’t necessarily sinful. Yes, all the projects can wait.

As I read this message I’m typing to myself, part of me is squealing “But this is the perfect day to dig stumps!” Part of me looks longingly at the soft pillows on the sofa; and I remember fondly the forts I used to make when I was the age my boys are now. And I missed coffee this morning…so I could exercise. I’m really feeling like an overachiever today. But I promise I won’t alphabetize my soups. Maybe I can pay one of my children to do that if I really want it done, but they have chores and schoolwork to finish first. Gah! I’m doing it again!

Of course, the overachiever remembers the lesson of the ant and the grasshopper (see “A Bug’s Life” from Pixar). If you have time, use it purposefully, and you’ll have free time later, your responsibilities will leave you alone, and your dreams will be closer; waste time now, and your responsibilities will catch up with you, and your dreams will seem out of reach, still. You can tell which side of the argument I tend to fall on.

Hey, guess what? Do you know what will strip latex paint right off of concrete steps? Duck blood.

(snort) How do I know this? I bet you can guess, unless this is your first time to read my blog. I had stored some duck guts in our deep freeze from when we cleaned (killed and plucked and ate) two of them. (Don’t tell the duck lady we got them from: they’re pets to her.) While digging through the freezer for something else, we took them out last night, and I fully intended to throw them out…(sigh)

Our cat returned last night after nearly two weeks of…doing…whatever male cats do…in the country…this is getting worse and worse, isn’t it? Well, he couldn’t ignore such a tasty treat as half-frozen organs from obnoxious ducks; that description just makes your mouth water, doesn’t it? Mmm-mmm. But, of course, he left some in the plastic bag he didn’t eat, and the pool of liquid under them made the latex paint on the concrete step wrinkle and pull off like skin from a spy’s disguise. As an added benefit, our basement now carries the distinct odor of half-rotted duck. I know, you just can’t wait to visit, can you?

Maybe you should wait, at least until I can find another left-handed glove to clean up what’s left. I used two left-handed gloves to sop up most of the blood, but there might still be a little, somewhere, maybe…but what’s a little bird blood between friends, right? The reason for left-handed gloves? Well, when I use gloves, I tend to use my right hand because I’m right-handed, and so they just get worn out faster, and because they are cheap and get holes in all the fingers, I throw them away when they get like this, thus leaving a supply of left-handed gloves with miles still left on them. I know something you don’t know – I am not left-handed!

And I have cloth handy for soaking up the entrails of random livestock…’cause that happens around here. Yes, the Halloween ride Psychopath is just down the street; if they only knew. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!




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