My favorite time of the year is coming up.
When the holidays are over
When the music, lights, and decorations get put away again
When all the rich food is finally gone, and all we want is vegetables and water
When all the gifts aren’t new or wrapped anymore, and we have to find a place to store them
When the fall sports are over, the winter sports don’t matter yet, and the spring sports have yet to begin
When we’ve all but forgotten warm, sunny, smiley weather
When our New Year’s resolutions lie in shattered ruins
When all our friends and family are gone to their homes, and we are alone
When we’re too fat, too tired, and too sick to face ourselves
When the bills and taxes are due, the cars need repairs, and the house leaks
When we are reminded that our messy, real relationships don’t measure up to the unrealistic, scripted fantasies fed to us by the media
When the animals are asleep, the leaves have fallen, and the beauty of nature is hidden away
When bad habits taunt us with hopelessness and regrets
When we are tired of trying, ready to let go, and considering the advantages of giving up
When the sun is covered in clouds, the temperature stays too low all day and all night, the wind bites, and water from the sky brings death and not life
When all the superficiality of life dies away to leave a stark, raw reality
This is where He searches for us. He finds us, wading through the garbage and chains of our existence to give us some of His. The Light shines in our darkness, and we can’t begin to grasp it. We would be crazy to hope for light. He would be crazy to give it to people like us…so He does. His still, small voice, great in power and in mercy, reaches warmly toward our frozen hearts…and we begin to live; we begin to move; we begin to have an identity, and a hope.
I am drawn to the light in this dead, dark stillness. I know I’m crazy to look for it here, but I can focus better here without all that other stuff shouting at me. In the light, I can see Him better, and I can see myself a little better, too. I begin to understand how He sees me, about what’s actually crazy in my life. I am able to share a little light, a little hope with those other crazies I can reach in the dark.
He’s crazy, too, you know…about me, about all of us. He brings His light, His warm love, His power and truth to loonies like me who get the insane notion to come here on purpose…He shines for us just because we’re here to be found. He sends his light just because there are crazy people who hope that He will, who look for light in this light-less place, who know He must be here if He is anywhere. And He is here.
He is more real than the dark, the bills, the pain, or the loneliness.
He is more valuable than the gifts, or the possessions, or the power.
He is more sustaining than the food, the vitamins, the drugs, or the exercise.
He is more nourishing than the music, the air, or the view.
He is more beautiful than what we can see, or hear, or write.
He is more enduring than the winter, the noise, our promises, or our memories.
He is more secure than the shelter, the insurance, the loopholes, or the stash.
He is more true than the gurus, the experts, the experience, or the training.
He is more entrancing than the new app, new game, new gossip, or new show.
He is more adventurous than the business, the battle, the relationship, or life itself.
He is more peaceful than the vacation, the sleep, the headphones, or the therapy.
He is more faithful than the friends, family, spouse, the children, or even the sunrise.
He is more our Lord than the bad habits, the schedules, the rat race, or the fix.
He is more joy than all the holidays, successes, pleasures, people, and all of nature put together.
He is Light. The Light who shines for us when we can’t even remember light. He is Light for the crazies, the lost, the broken. He is light because He knows broken isn’t our final destiny. He shines for us because He knows lost isn’t where we were made to live. He came to us because He knows that crazy is what it takes to go looking for Him. As long as we try to be normal, we spend our lives searching for all that He is, and never find it without finding Him first. Actually, He finds us…
He is the Light for the crazies. Has He found you like He found me? Maybe you should look for Him in the only place a crazy person would look for light in your life. I bet that, in the middle of broken, lost, dark, dead nothingness, where no one else would be if they had any sense, there’s a light shining for you, too. He’s going to go crazy when He finds you.